phaedra starr

As a little girl, I remember telling my Dad, “One-day people will just love each other no matter what color they are or what they look like. People will just love everyone and everything.” That mission of unconditional love was planted in me from the moment I arrived on this Earth. 

As the years passed, that unformed sentiment of unconditional love twisted into the desire to be loved. On my quest to find this elusive feeling, I became a superstar overachiever. Followed all the rules. Got good grades. Majored in something acceptable. Got a corporate job. Desperately tried to stay in relationships much past their expiration dates. I was everything and everyone “you” needed me to be. And there were lots of perks… free cars, a great salary, ability to buy a home. I had stability. 

And I was deeply unhappy. 

To try and fill the unhappiness in my soul, I searched everywhere for answers. I traveled. I tried various multi-level marketing businesses. I dated all types of men. I dabbled in the arts (and always ran away because I couldn’t let my passion for the arts take me away from my stable life.) I went to different churches and explored different religions. I found some peace and solace there, but it was temporary and fleeting and sometimes even made me feel worse about myself. 

I kept myself busy. I was known to friends, family, and colleagues as a “wonder woman” and “super mom”. Always moving, always achieving….otherwise, the sadness and deep dissatisfaction within me would overwhelm.

And then I broke. My mom, my soulmate and best friend, died after a long battle with cancer. And physically, at 40 years old I was in physical therapy for back issues and in extreme pain. I had bouts of hyperactivity and then complete exhaustion. I was gaining weight. I could not make it through the day without a nap. My doctor flat out told me my medical tests were all normal but I looked like crap. I experienced crippling migraines every couple of weeks. My stable life was teetering as my job performance started slipping. And my mom, my rock, wasn’t there to ground me and cheer me on. And then I watched my then third grader, my sweet, kind, loving, intuitive daughter, come home crying from school everyday because kids were being mean to each other and she was trying to fix it. She was trying to fix everyone else herself and she was trying to make everyone happy at her own expense….just like me.

Witnessing my actions and behaviors in my daughter woke me up. Through a serious of synchronistic events, I met HeatherAsh Amara – author of the Warrior Goddess books, High Priestess and Toltec Shaman/Nagual. I worked through her programs, mentored with her in Toltec and European Shamanism and certified in her Warrior Heart program. I started meeting regularly with my Tarot mentor of 10+ years. I reconnected with my Intuitive Coach and teacher who had taught me how to use my clairsentient and empath abilities years earlier. I worked with healers in mindfulness, acupuncture, Reiki, and inner child exploration. I played. I painted. I laughed. I steeped in the mysteries of Teotihuacan and took it to another level. Reclaiming my intent and my choices, I found myself. After stripping the layers of expectations and reconnecting/relearning my long lost core intent: Unconditional Love…. and this time, Unconditional Love for myself … I remembered who I am. 

Today, as a Certified Life, Energetic and Spiritual Coach and Reiki Master, it is my great joy to help others rediscover who they are, remember their gifts and talents, and heal through the agreements and traumas of their current lifetime, past lifetimes and ancestral lineages. 

I realize throughout my adulthood, I kept coming back to the arts and healing practices but was afraid I wasn’t “enough”, that I wouldn’t be loved, and that I might disappoint the people I cared about if I pursued those passions further. Thank God I woke up. I keep acting, exploring and playing to keep my own Light ignited and to continue to deeply experience the human condition in all its forms…some passions never die. I have so much gratitude to my teachers and loved ones that have been on this journey with me. When I finally committed to myself, using energy healing and shamanic tools, I found my faith and my path to freedom. It is my sincere honor to help you find yours too. 

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