What is my Life's Purpose?
Why am I here?
I have to admit my mind is blown. I was taking a survey about “health” – it had many sections about finance, physical health, spiritual health, etc. There was a question that asked “Do think about your purpose in life?” Flying through the questions, I didn’t even pause and I clicked “No”. Then I stopped in my tracks. When did I stop wondering about my life’s purpose? As I tracked through the past, I realize it has been months.
Why? Why hadn’t I been thinking about this? My entire life, I have been seeking. Looking into different careers, activities, hobbies. My friends come from diverse backgrounds and have wildly different interests. I was seeking. The entire time. Trying to find my purpose. Saying yes to everything and everyone, hoping something would click and stick. Spending copious amounts of energy and worry trying to find out why I am here.
And yet, I haven’t even given it a thought for months now!
As I have focused on my health, mindfulness, stalking my “pushing” nature. I started saying No to things because I had to as my health was wavering. I found a mindfulness practice and I started deep diving with Toltec Shamanism.
I realize that it wasn’t my purpose I was looking for all those years. I was trying to find myself, my light. I was yearning to learn who I am. I was trying to remember my Intent. And I was looking everywhere, except within myself.
Toltec Wisdom sneaked in and turned the tables. I have untangled and unwoven agreements; starting living each day and each decision with intent and connection to Source. Finding joy, peace and freedom amidst the chaos and calamity of life. Becoming an artist and creating my own life. Checking in with my Intent in every decision.
So what is my purpose? Whatever it needs to be in this moment that is in alignment with my Intent. Whatever push I get from Source/God/the Universe right NOW. It is not some grandiose goal that I spend time planning and worrying about. It is not the “end”. It is the journey.
As I trust and have faith in each step, I can look back and see the master design…. That I would start a business, become more joyful in my role as mother, strengthen friendships and release relationships that were sucking me dry, laugh and enjoy life a whole lot more. I became master of my choices, a Master of Intent, and fully accountable for my life. I have forgiven and released so much. And my accomplishments are numerous….and they were never planned. They were birthed one divinely guided step at a time, with no attachment to outcomes. And quite frankly, these outcomes are better than I could have even imagined.
I no longer ask myself nor others what their goals are. I ask, what is your Intent?
By the way, the “right” answer to that health survey for “Do I think about my purpose?” was supposed to be “Yes” because at the completion of the survey, I got an inbox full of self-help on spiritual fulfillment to find my “purpose”. I laughed because I have never felt more Freedom or Spiritual awake-ness than ever before. The work is never done, and now that I know what FREEDOM feels like, I won’t ever worry about my “purpose” again. I know, with that deep truthful sense of knowing within my body, that I will one day look back on my life, take my last joyful breath, and move onto whatever happens after this life understanding only in that last moment what my purpose was and knowing I completed it.
Namaste and Many Blessings!
Phaedra
