Walk with Coyote

I was meditating under the bright sun, being recharged by the Sedona Red Rocks, listening to the water falling over the edge of the rocks across from me. It was the three-year anniversary of my mother’s death. I had completed the Warrior Goddess book and was to meet the author, HeatherAsh Amara, the next day. I had no idea what I was in for.

Suddenly a coyote appeared to me. I did not normally have visions, but hey, I was in Sedona so who knows what mysterious things happen in that energy vortex. The Coyote told me, “Talk to the Willow and do not come back to this spot until you do.” Okay. So I went and fell asleep under a Willow tree. I did have some dreams, but I was starting to chalk it all up to the desert heat.

Flash forward to a few days later, the last hours of the Sedona retreat, I was in conversation with a beautiful tattooed woman that I was strangely pulled toward. She had been assisting HeatherAsh yet surprisingly I had not spoken with her until that moment. We discussed my retreat experiences and what I was feeling for next steps. She stated simply, “You need to do Shaman Shadow work.” I had never even heard those terms before. We went back into session and she puts a named tag on. Her name is Willow White Wolf.

Talk to the Willow….

And so began my journey into the shamanic world and eventually to an apprenticeship with HeatherAsh Amara herself in Toltec Shamanic traditions. And my walk with the Coyote.

Throughout my apprenticeship year, real live Coyotes would show up. One ran beside my car as I drove down the I-5 from California toward Santa Fe. They howled and roamed on the land at night through the Summer Solstice; the locals commented that they had never been on that side of the road before and I knew they had come for me. Another ran beside my car as I drove home in September. Coyote frequented my dreams and meditations. While I did not understand why this Spirit was blessing me, the Coyote family became my family.  They were a constant and comforting presence. When they howled at night, I was not afraid; I bowed my head in gratitude.

The last night of my apprenticeship, I walked a dimly lit path through the desert landscape. The stars shined bright, the air was crisp and cold. I should have been afraid of the creatures lurking in the dark. I should have been making up stories in my head about all the ways I could get hurt. And yet I felt free. Even in the dark and with the uneven terrain, I was sure of my footsteps. My body was relaxed. I listened to the whispering wind and became one with all of creation.

And then I heard him. Coyote. Soft padded footsteps off to my right. I was startled at first and stopped. Breathed. Opened up my energy field. I recognized his presence. I continued my walk in the dark with Coyote beside me. We communicated our thought messages.

“The time is near for me to depart. Have you learned why I have been journeying with you?” Coyote asked.

I felt deep into my heart and I knew the answer. “Yes. Coyote, I did not understand at first. You are the trickster and I couldn’t figure out why the Universe would send a Trickster to me for this year of Shadow work. But now I know. A year ago, I would have been afraid of this walk in the dark. I was afraid of the dark period. My mind kept me from reaching my Womb Wisdom and finding my Heart Center. My mind was afraid to lose control. My mind was tricking me and causing me suffering, instead of allowing my heart to lead with faith and trust in God/Universe/Source.”

Coyote sent thought waves back, “Yes. You understand now. It is time for me to leave you. You will not see me for a while, but I will come if you need me. You have learned your lesson. Not to trust the fear stories your mind tells you. Your mind is no longer a parasite. You are awake and aware, and your mind is now your Ally.”

“Goodbye sweet Coyote. Thank you for journeying with me and teaching me this lesson.”

My next step landed in a pile of coyote poop. I shook my head and laughed. Coyote…always the Trickster.

So holding both joy in my heart for my newly earned freedom and heartache from saying goodbye to my constant companion of the last year, I continued my walk alone, toward a future I now had the power to create.